How To Plan Quality Vacations As A Family Caregiver: A Guide For Sons, Daughters, and Spouses of Older Convalescent Adults
Welcome to Best Care For Mom & Dad, the newsletter for sons, daughters, and spouses coping with the challenges of planning for potential caregiving while taking advantage of the longevity economy.
Making age work for you involves challenging stereotypes and breaking down barriers that prevent older individuals from living their fullest lives.
Whether it's through policies that support lifelong learning, opportunities for inter-generational collaboration, advancements in health care that prioritize quality of life, or simply taking off on either a short, or extended vacation with our elderly parents… we must advocate for a culture that sees aging not as a decline, but as a continuation of growth and development.
Only by embracing this mindset, we can transform the narrative around aging and celebrate every stage of life as a unique and valuable experience.
As we welcome the golden years alongside our elderly parents, the role of a family caregiver often becomes an integral part of our daily lives.
The responsibility of caregiving, while rewarding, comes with its own set of challenges, especially when it comes to planning vacations.
I recently helped my parents, my Mom in particular, cuz Dad doesn’t really like computers :-) book a 14-day cruise through Europe, with her sister, daughter, and three of her eight grandchildren.
She’s barely set foot on the plane to Barcelona–Spain yet, and she’s already sketching next year’s adventure and who she wants as her entourage.
My Mom is 79 this year and my Dad is 83, they’re healthy, and showing no signs of slowing down! They’re business owners ( who don’t consider themselves “entrepreneurs”, but that’s really what they are!) who carved out a life out of sheer will, hard work, and passion and mastery for their craft.
There are families who miss out on amazing experiences, and rob themselves from creating long-lasting memories because they feel traveling with a convalescent family member is not only cumbersome, but many times logistically impossible.
It’s an understandable concern. Anyone who’s traveled with very young children or someone on a wheelchair can tell you there’s an added level of stress that comes with the job, because safety is always the number one concern of course.
Yet, there are solid ways to ensure a relaxing, enjoyable travel experience without compromising the care and supervision our loved ones require.
But the first thing to work on is your mindset. Resolve yourself to do it. Make the decision to travel and work the problem. Otherwise you’ll focus on figuring out reasons not to do it.
Understanding the Challenges
The main hurdle for family caregivers planning a vacation is ensuring the safety and comfort of their elderly parents. Daily caregiving tasks, such as medication management, mobility assistance, and constant supervision, don't pause for holidays. This can make the idea of a vacation seem daunting or even unfeasible.
You Will Face Objections
It's common to encounter objections, both from within and from our elderly loved ones. "It's too complicated," or "What if something happens?" are concerns that often arise. Overcoming these objections starts with planning, preparation, and a positive outlook.
Here Are 6 Insights for a Smooth Family Caregiving Vacation
Choosing the Right Destination: Opt for destinations that are not only enjoyable but also accommodating to the elderly. Resorts with medical facilities on-site or hotels that offer special care services can be excellent choices. Destinations that are wheelchair-friendly and have easy access to medical centers should be at the top of your list.
Incorporating In-Home Care: Hiring a professional caregiver to join your vacation can alleviate much of the stress associated with daily caregiving tasks. Today, many agencies offer temporary caregiving services tailored for vacations. This ensures your loved one receives the necessary care, allowing you to relax and enjoy the holiday too.
Utilizing Respite Care Services: For those who find bringing a caregiver on vacation too cumbersome, respite care is a viable alternative. Many senior living communities offer short-term stays designed to provide caregivers a break. This can be a perfect opportunity for your elderly parents to enjoy a change of scenery, engage in social activities, and receive professional care while you recharge on a vacation.
Planning a Staycation: Sometimes, the best vacation is a staycation. Transforming your home into a relaxing retreat can provide the change of pace you're looking for, without the logistics of traveling. Hiring a home care professional for the duration can give you the freedom to explore local attractions, enjoy long, leisurely lunches, or simply unwind in your backyard.
You can also choose half-day or full-day short trips you can easily plan around. Use these as prep sessions for longer and more focused vacations.
Engaging in Elderly-Friendly Activities: Choose activities that are enjoyable for all ages and mobility levels. Consider scenic cruises, guided tours in electric carts, or cultural experiences that offer plenty of opportunities to sit and rest. The key is to find a balance between adventure and relaxation, ensuring there are ample opportunities to rest.
Travel Insurance and Medical Preparations: Investing in comprehensive travel insurance that covers medical emergencies for the elderly is crucial. Despite all the planning, emergencies can happen.
Ensure you have a comprehensive list of emergency contacts, including local hospitals, the nearest embassy or consulate if traveling abroad, and a travel insurance hotline. Carry a medical information card for your loved one, detailing their conditions, medications, allergies, and doctor's contact information.
Scout local pharmacies, in case you need an emergency refill because you lost or forgot a prescription med or two.
Let's dive deeper into making vacations accessible and enjoyable for family caregivers and their elderly parents. The journey of caregiving, though challenging, shouldn't be a barrier to experiencing the joy and rejuvenation that vacations provide.
Keep These Scenarios and Solutions in Mind
Scenario #1: Managing meds on the move
Challenge: Your elderly parent requires medication at specific times of the day, making you anxious about managing this schedule while on vacation.
Solution: Use medication management devices and set alarms on your phone as reminders. Discuss your travel plans with your parent's healthcare provider; they may adjust medication timings to suit your travel schedule better.
Scenario #2: It may be too much for them.
Challenge: You're worried about the physical demands of travel.
Solution: Consider destinations that offer relaxation and are known for their tranquility, such as beach resorts or mountain cabins with beautiful views and minimal need for mobility.
Scenario #3: Fear.
Challenge: Your parents are resistant to the idea of vacation due to fear of the unfamiliar.
Solution: Involve them in the planning process. Choose a destination together and plan activities they will enjoy. Familiarize them with the itinerary through pictures and videos to build excitement.
Scenario #4: Mobility Issues on Vacation.
Challenge: You're concerned about the logistics of traveling with a parent who uses a wheelchair or has limited mobility.
Solution: Look for travel agencies that specialize in accessible travel. These agencies can help you plan your journey, from booking flights with assistance services to selecting accessible accommodations and activities. Many destinations now prioritize accessibility, offering wheelchair-friendly transportation, hotels, and tourist attractions.
Scenario #5: Dietary Restrictions
Challenge: Your elderly parent has specific dietary needs that must be met, making you worry about finding suitable dining options while on vacation.
Solution: Research and select accommodations with kitchen facilities, allowing you to prepare meals that meet your parent's dietary requirements. Additionally, contact restaurants in advance to discuss dietary needs; many are accommodating and can prepare meals that cater to specific health conditions.
In addition to these scenarios, also keep in mind the following tips and potential advantages of planning a trip as a family caregiver.
Choosing the Right Time for Vacation
Timing your vacation can also play a crucial role in its success. Consider the season and weather conditions of your chosen destination, aiming for times when the climate is mild, and the location is less crowded. This can make navigating tourist sites easier and more enjoyable for both you and your elderly parents.
Fostering Independence
While it's important to ensure your loved one's needs are met, encouraging their independence as much as possible, especially as they age, has enormous positive outcomes.
It can boost their confidence and self esteem, which has a direct impact on their mental and physical health.
Simple activities that align with their abilities, such as short walks, participating in craft workshops, or even choosing the day's activities, can make a significant difference in their vacation experience.
Memory Making
Vacations are an excellent opportunity to create lasting memories. Creating a photo album or a video montage of the trip can provide a source of joy and reminiscence for years to come.
In many ways, memories are all we have. It’s often what we cherish the most, and brings a smile to our face. Nostalgia and reminiscing can also provide a host of other benefits:
Like a drastic reduction in negative emotions, mostly associated with loneliness and depression.
Many seniors experience depression and boredom. Sharing not only old, but new memories with other people can provide opportunities for laughter, and a feeling of being connected to those around them, while creating new relationships.
Adjusting Expectations and Watch the Rewards
It's crucial to manage your expectations when vacationing with an elderly parent. The vacation might not be as relaxing or adventurous as trips taken in the past, but it can be enriching and fulfilling in different ways.
Embrace the slower pace and the opportunity to spend quality time with your Mom, Dad, or Spouse.
Celebrating the Success
After the vacation, it’s good to take time to reflect on the experience and celebrate the success of your trip. Acknowledge the effort it took to organize and execute the vacation and the joy it brought to both you and your loved one. Use this as a learning experience for future vacations, noting what worked well and what could be improved.
As for me, sure, vacationing as a family caregiver is undoubtedly complex, but with careful planning, the right resources, and a supportive network, it is entirely possible to enjoy a fulfilling break with your elderly parents.
I feel the essence of a vacation lies not in the destination but in the break from routine, the experiences shared, and the memories created.
The truth is, we've got to make age work for us, not against us. In a society that often glorifies youth and overlooks the wisdom and value of older generations, it's crucial to shift our perspective and embrace aging as a positive and enriching phase of life.
Making age work means recognizing and leveraging the vast experiences, insights, and skills that come with years lived and lessons learned. It's about creating environments, both in the workplace and in our communities, that value and integrate the contributions of older adults, ensuring they remain active, engaged, and appreciated members of society.
I can’t think of a better way to do that as often as possible than going on a well-deserved and fun vacation with my Mom and Dad.
Till next week!
Claudio Alegre